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Odd Child

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Poison. [10 Aug 2004|03:56pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

It's a feeeling! So appeaaling! For us to get together and sing! SING! Stupid Bananaphone.

School starts and I can think about are stupid flash movies and RP related stuff.

okay, maybe that's nothing new.

Been thinking of a VERY devious RP deviation. And that would be the pairing of two characters that don't even seem to exist in the same time period or dimension based on SHEER SEX APPEAL and insanity. Yes, that's right. Lotus x Laulina. -*.*- It's the best of all worlds combined. It is so hard for me to not be Laulina anymore. I love Laulina, really. She is the most fun character to RP ever. She hates the world, is very attractive, is petite, is a non-human (psi-vampie!!), is so so pretty, is fun to dress up and play with, and is all around adorable amusing and insane. I based her partially off of Lotus. And Lotus is like yum and evil and insane and charming somehow and yesi'dlayhim o.o;; Lotus = teh kink.

In a side note, Steve also = teh kink...as does a turkey sandwich. ::imagines a Voltron like combination of the three:: O_o;; Kinky. XD

Ah, damn you Favian poisoning my mind like that!!

But but but...just thinking of the possibilities!! It's so pretty. They both can't stand anyone (almost) and enjoy insulting stuff and being insane and they're both passionate and lonely and just...they'd be compatible in every way...except...o.o;;

Okay, Lotus isn't into little girls. -_-;; Damn!! We're (fairly) sure Lotus isn't into younger girls and/or a slight pedophile...He'd likely just make fun of her childlikeness (She's in her twentiiiiies!! T-T) and she'd be annoyed. Oh, yeah, and she hates love and relationships and marriage and all that crap. Or at least tries to. And they're both quite taken. True Love etc. >.>;; Well...there's always doujin...

::imagines the pretty:: -*.*-

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Ohmigodihateyou!!! [04 Aug 2004|04:02am]
yoy!! Teehee....typoooooo-y.

stupid...kikkoman. Song...in head.

I went downstairs to finish the banana cream pie...I figure, if I'm going to be insomniac, may as well make it worthwhile.

So, I go downstairs and think over my last entry. It was friends only, BTW...I think. I don't care.

I was thinking about all the oddities I've seen on the internet. And my newsletter. And Jrock. And me. And Pie. Mmmpie. I started thinking about what I'd post in the letter. My mind strated to Dolphinsex and the line "Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such." and then that part in the geese section about their orgasm. ;_; And realized I was eating a creamy pie...and then remembered that one picture on eBaums, and my pie is no longer so tasty, and the internet is a sick sick place. And I just thought of that dolphin pic on the opening of dolphinsex. I wonder if that dolphin was well satisfied. Or if that's just a stock picture. Please tell me that's a stock photo. ::Cries:: I hate the internet!
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Fantasy worlds. [01 Aug 2004|04:11pm]
I'm just thinking about it....I don't belong here. In this world. The music I listen to all has a certain sound. Listening to the Batman Theme (Elfman!) or NMBC songs I sing when I'm sad (yes, I sing as a coping mechanism...kinda sad, I know) and the nurturing fantasy realities I raised myself into with TV, Movies, and the Internet...it's nothing like the "real" world that everyone else lives in.

If the camp I just got back from has taught me anything...well...two things appear in my mind:

1) I'm no longer racist. O.o; Wow.
2) I'm always a loner.

At camp, there were 47 delegates, me included, and I always spent time alone. It's a nurturing environment where you can talk to anyone and be honest and open and real and people care for you, really. I have to admit, I felt less lonely than I had in a while, but I always found myself hiding away from people or sitting up away from people. I had a "perch" on the mess hall porch where the "ANYTOWN" sign/curtain hung off of the onning and I rested my back against a support-beam and sat on the railing looking down and out at the world around me, or people talking on the porch near me...I sat high and away from people and it became my favorite spot...dark and hidden. I CRAVE CONVERSATION, yet, I felt a need to stay away from others. To not get too close. I won't keep in touch, I know for a fact.

I had every chance to get to know people, and be accepted, and I didn't really wanna take it. Ya know, it's so much easier to be lonely when you're alone...so I tried to be alone. I enjoy being alone. I like feeling distant and cold and in control of myself.

I never cried around others. I cried twice. Once was after the "best friend" discussion in discussion group. I went up to my cabin back during opporotunity time...and I remember Sam crying about how much he missed his two best friends, both murdered, and how close they were, and it reminded me of my best friend, and thinking how willing I'd be to do all of the same things for them, and how I would hate my life forever if I lost them. So I went back up to my cabin and cried because I missed them so much,and my other friends, and I was depressed for the rest of the day. Tears are coming to my eyes now just thinking about that... The second was on Thursday...I just started thinking about that again, and cried myself to sleep. I couldn't sleep until like, 1 AM. >.<;; Oh well...

I could only cry when no one else was around or awake. Being alone makes it easier to cry,to feel, to enjoy myself. I'm meant to be alone always...not entirely,but I think regardless, I will always be alone.
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My eyes is burning!! [13 Jul 2004|04:31pm]
[ mood | creative ]

My eyes are burning...WITH LOVEU!!

By adding "with lovu!" to anything unpleasant, you can sound Excel-ish, I think. I just finished all of Excel Saga yesterday. Oh my god. The ADVidnotes, subtitles everywhere...Augh! >.<; It was fun though. And sweet. I found Excel Excel (the main character's name is Excel Excel) to be annoying and stupid in the beginning but by the last volume I actually thought she was cute! She's so sweet. I like her.

Then I went online and talked to Li-chi and Steve and some of Steve's friends. o.o; I make cyber-cookies that are better than cyber sex, apparently. Whee! And I also decided I should invent a whipped cream shooting device called a "cream cannon" and that it should look somewhat phallic just because. o.O;

After everyone left I stayed up after midnight watching Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust until 1:57 AM, while laying all cuddly-like on the floor infront of my TV. So I suppose since I was tired by then, and my arm hurt because my floor isn't comfy I fell asleep by 2 AM. ^^; Then I woke up at 5:25 6 AM to get ready for summer school. And strangely enough, I've been full of energy!! *.* Full of energy is me!!! I like it. ^_^; So I didn't sleep as much as usual in class today.

Anyway, I'm energetic and well right now.

I looked up nostalgic old 'net trends, RUP and AYB. I thought of how cute Aluris would be jammin' out to AYB and other geeky techno. ^^; So I drew her. It's cute.

Over the last few days I've been working on character dev for a new RP chara to replace one of my other ones because I need chaos in my imaginary life. Her name is Chloe Fiora Alcibiades (yes, named after that Greek guy Alcibiades who was a fiendish genius) and she's a little fox girl and kinda southern-belle-ish and just fricken adorable. I need to learn a southern accent so I can make her talk like that. *.* She's a contrast to my more sincere and caring characters, as I see her personality type as one that could NEVER get attached to anything non-material or physical. I doubt I'll ever use her. Oh well. Another cute girl to draw, I guess. ^.~

And I recently designed another character for Lovely Issue, one who I've been meaning to develop. The 'leet' dude that Aluris works with who annoys the hell out of her. His name, co-incidentally, is Lee. Lee Tain Bourkham. I just liked thinkin of cheap geeky pickup lines he would use on her. All the fricken time. ;p He wears a shirt that says "pr0n(star)" with a picture of a crustacean on it. He's annoying as hell.

Anyway, I'm well today.

...Still, kinda lonely...

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LET'S PLAY SOME TETRIS MOTH-- [01 Jul 2004|01:28pm]
Hey! I gotta go! I love you ALL! I'm so freakin excited. Please remember me in case anything bad happens.

::hugs all around::

I'll be back monday.

Reverand Angela V Saenz

I leave you with this sweet meme thing....Collapse )
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WouldifIcouldbutican't! [01 Jul 2004|01:27am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Okay. Leaving tomorrow, right after school, to Anime Expo.


Those camera carrying otaku bastards had better take pictures of me! >.<;

I have no sword. I have no Kato masks. I will prepare further this morning.

I need no sleep. Caffiene shall feed me.

I will return monday.

Really, I'd write a personal note to each and every one of you, but that would either take too long, or I'm lazy, or I don't talk to half of you despite wanting to.

In anycase, now you know I'll be gone and that's all that matters. <3

I'll call you, Li-chi, ASAP.

It'll all work out, really. I LOVE YOU ALL!! ::blows kissies::

And I'll bring back merchandise and photos and all that nice stuff. And people will buy me stuff. Yes.

I might update again in the morning. Until then. I love you all and-- Steve, the inkyblob looks great, and I'll finish the quiz so you don't harass me to death later. o.o; Yes, I adore my friends so much. Mwah! :*

Wish me fun and luck!

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WHEEEE!!! [26 Jun 2004|04:49pm]
[ mood | Randomly Kissable ]

Crappy day crappy day crappy day! I got grounded off line for the rest of today. Ugh.

And I started the monthly bleeding anger crap. -.-; Ew. Not that you realy needed to know. I'll just call it monthly angrytime or bleeding. Not like I care. Ew. One of few reasons being so female sucks.


IT'S ALL FIXED!! WHEEEEEE!!! I'm goin' out to a movie! At 6 PMish! With Matt and Shannon and Moriah and stuff!!! *.* Wheee!! And I've felt so stuck at home lately, this is just perfect timing.

My mood was like..."Life sucks. Honesty is overrated. WHAT? You tarot cards DARE predict that I'm going to screw up somewhere in life...bitch. Everything hates me. I'm a wonderful liar. Lying rules. Honesty sucks. I'm so alonealonealone--*ringring*" And I dashed to get the phone, missed the call, called back, and wheee...Now I'm goin' to tha movies! Not sure what I'll seeeee. *.*

o.o; I'm all happy prozac-y smiley like "^_________^"

Being bipolar is hilarious, because you get to watch the moodswings like this.

Dude, it's so hot right now. I think I'm actually...sweating. o.o; That NEVER happens. Ew.

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[26 Jun 2004|02:59pm]

Grounded. For today.


Call me?

And tell Fav he can call me too if he wants.


o.o; I'm bored and lonely. ;.;
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To see and be seen! [26 Jun 2004|02:10pm]
[ mood | curious ]

And if i have to live my life wiiiiithout you forever, i can close my eyes and dream of you!!!

I love the Cruxshadows. I NEED that song right now. Must burn a new copy of Mystery of The Whisper, so I can comfort myself for losing it. Instead, I'll listen to Orphean Wing. Or Breathe. Mmm. Love this band.

Yes, yes, things to do and be done. In entirely random order.

1) Make an illegal Mp3 trading ring somewhere online somehow. That will require even MORE work than stupid organizing and sorting logs. But I *will* somehow get involved in something illegal! Eventually.
2) Sort logs.
3) RP RP RP!

Let's see, now how about the stuff I'll ACTUALLY do!?

1) RP RP RP. o.o; Will do that.
2) Learn to drive. ::Shudder::
3) Sign up for fencing classes.
4) Anime Expo!! WHEEE! *.*
5) Let's see...and view the following movies:

a) Fahrenheit 9/11
b) Spider-Man 2
c) Pulp Fiction
d) True Romance
e) Monty Python stuffs.
f) Love me if you Dare. I mean, come on, it's a pretty french romance flick, and the plot itself looks sweet and interesting.
g) What the Bleep do we know?! Philosophy and Quantum Physics, dearie!
h) Troy. Just to laugh at it and stare at the supposed man-candy. o.o; Actually, I just wanna laugh at it. While feeling smarter than most of the audience. Going to TPA has made me a pretentious intellectual prick. *.*
i) Any more suggestions? Hmm...Maybe Donnie Darko and some other stuff that'll give me stuff to talk about with my friends. I'm too much of a hermit. Maybe I'll watch some teen flicks. And then I'll go live in my Tim Burton world and be happy. Maybe I'll even smile! :]

6) Work on the Inky Blob and such
7) Okay, really now Angela. LOGS.
8) Go out with friends, just because.
9) Learn to drive. Sorta.
10) I'll go on a personal hiatus, I know, I'll crack, at somepoint. Maybe I won't do that.
10b) BE HONEST WITH PEOPLE. (Okay, I know I definetely won't do that!! ^^;;; XD)

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!! [26 Jun 2004|12:21pm]
[ mood | AUUUUGH!!! ]

This post started about something else. But I'll just keep the title cuz I like it.

Ya know what would SUCK about being Spider-Man?

You'd have AWFUL noise headaches. Having Spidey Sense and all, you feel things stronger, and he's so aware of everything around him with it...

But, at least that probably means you'd have better orgasms. ^.~;

In more Angela news, I am suffering my monthly physical angrytime right now. And it is PAIN. So much PAIN. >.<; I used to get it so bad it was nearly CRIPPLING. I have PMDD. Or I did. The one good part about antidepressants/mood stabilizers (okay, so maybe it's not the only good part, but...one of the main reasons I took them) was that they reduced significantly the pain I had to endure from this....ugh...

I just wonder how Spider-Girl feels when she's PMSing. Ugh.

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[23 Jun 2004|03:13pm]
[ mood | giggly ]


I'm so easily amused!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I just ate TWO different kinds of aphrodesiacs in a row!! XD

Figs, freshly picked, and chocolate! XD ^_____^ V I know the smileys are driving you maaaaad! I'm sorry, I'm just highly amused!! ::cackles::

Carrying the food innuendo even disturbingly farther...Collapse )

I want some whipped cream now. ^^;;

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Ahhh.. [19 Jun 2004|08:38am]
[ mood | chipper ]

No longer angsty. I'm over my angst, wonderfully. ^____^ I just hope it lasts.

Talked to Favian. A lot, yesterday. He's really a great friend. I adore him, and I have to say...


Keee! ^.^ It's great. It's not that I lack total attraction to him; that's the basis of a lot of my friendships, an underlying, very dormant attraction...hey, when all of your friends are bi or male, that kinda happens. o.o;;

It's great, we're open with each other again, he's considerate of me again, he has a boyfriend who he wants me to meeeeeet. I guess he and I are just really better like this, as friends, rather than as a couple-y thing.

He's so cute. I'm not really gushing over him here, for once, or angsting. I just feel great that I'm friends with him again and it's under control.

Somewhat apparent issue: He likes guys. But the real issue is he doesn't know if he likes girls at all. Just me. There always has been and will be me, and he's dated girls before, it's just that he never really liked any of them. I feel kinda special for it. (He said he didn't know if I was just an exception or all the other girls just sucked. Yay, I don't suck!) But, anyone else notice I don't ever attract straight people. o.o;;; Steve said something on that using his magic SteveLogic (magic and logic--whaaa?) a while ago that makes me feel better on that topic, but I don't feel like going through my massive new IM log folder (93 items, yo!) and quoting him.

Stayed up late. I was supposed to go to bed at 11, and stayed up until 12:25-ish on the phone with Favian. We're insane and cute together. ^^; But I don't mean cute in a couple-y way, just that watching us interact is cute. It's really great having a friend like him. Not that I think we're dangerously close best friends again yet, but we're close. ::smiles:: Yay!

Okay, here's some freaky news.

The other night I couldn't sleep...and started hearing voices. I always hear this male voice chanting something in some other language to me. The same guy. It's happened to me several times before. This same wrinkly old asian guy, I picture him. Anyway, I was starting to get entranced by it, but I remembered that book "A Wrinkle In TIme," (great book, BTW), and started singing songs irregularly to avoid falling into the trance. XD I just think it's so bizzare the things I learn from books, but rather nifty. o.o; I should figure that voice out, too, shouldn't I? I've heard it before...but it creeps me out. I put on music as I fell asleep to keep him away. ;p

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[18 Jun 2004|10:28pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

I'm over my last topic-of-angst. I guess it just took a few extra days to wear off of me.

I like to go for walks at night with my kitties. That must look so freakin' weird though. This girl in all black walking along with a cat trailing and stalking her. My parents prefer I don't stay out late so much, though.

I wish Li-chi were here so we could try to RP. ::pine::

Tomorrow I get to dress up all fancy-schmancy and protest with Billionares for Bush, a satire protesting company. "WELFARE FOR THE WEALTHY" and such will be chanted. Joy. It'll look good on a college application. I'm nervous and excited. OH YES! Li-chi's here!

Lies, sweet lies--a meme...Collapse )

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Dear god!! [18 Jun 2004|06:26pm]
I just sneezed twice; normally that means someone is talking about you behind your back. I wonder who...


CRAP! Further crap, I mean. For some godforsaken reason, my internet isn't working. How, you may ask, am I writing this entry? Well...I'm not using my client, as that's been not working for a while, too.

I -finally- opened up Netscape and made the stupid fucking account on it, JUST so I could get online here!!

ARRRRRRRGH!! Someone, help! IE isn't opening.

And I was just starting to feel like life sucked less...

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I took this test... [17 Jun 2004|07:08pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]


This is so reminiscent of the old SparkTests. I kinda knew what my result would be from the moment I took it. ^^;

Unrelated expression:

ughhhhh....@_@ tired....::passes out::

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XD [16 Jun 2004|07:06pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Your Erogenous Zone Is Your Ear

This doesn't mean you like a tongue shoved down your ear

But you're always into a bit of naughty nibbling and sucking

And some light blowing can do the trick for you as well

Not to mention a few well placed naughty whispers!

What's Your Secret Erogenous Zone?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

This is hilarious to me. I didn't even think QD would list that. o.<; Not shocking though...not at all...eep.

Mind the ads on the side if/when you decide to take this quiz.
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It bloody sucks! [16 Jun 2004|03:20pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]

The last week and a half have been a bit of a rollercoaster for me. Rather nice moments and the ability to think and laugh at life, to walking around sticky and life hating. Yes. STICKY.

Let's start with today. Let's go backwards. ::looloolooloo...Time warp!::

The path of my pathos...Collapse )

I'll figure out that last part later.

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Yesterday... [16 Jun 2004|07:20am]
SUCKED! Then it was nifty.

Ya wanna know how to get Angela mad? Set down a pro-censorship and pro-conformist rule on her and tell her she's been doing her thing WRONG, because she's not "human" enough.

Ew. Humanity. I disowned them a while ago. ^.~ I take being called "human" as an insult...

Yeah, I sound full of myself. I can be, too. My mom described me as a "pompous intellectual windbag"...I honestly say I'd prefer being called a "pretentious bastard." ...or even "self-absorbed prick."

Not sure why, but I've a fondness for the male derogatory language...concerning me. Being male isn't derogatory to me, really...I spend more time with guys than girls, normally, and have PLENTY stuff to say about the typical female's annoying traits...but would rather call myself a MAN when insulting myself. O_o; One of my disassociative properties.

Then I was....um....And it didn't go the way I planned. Damn my testosterone. Not only does it make you...but it makes you aggressive! RAWR! And so I was aggressive and restless for a while.

I went for a walk...and I needed a popsicle to consume angrily. For some reason, I was SO pissed off that I wanted....a popsicle. Not just ANY flavour popsicle. No. I wanted a PINK popsicle. Because that's the color of being pissed off? No. Just cuz...they're tasty.

I couldn't find any. I settled for blue after 2 failed attempts.

I gotta finish this later. Aural probe, got IMed, and created something. Cheered up. The end.
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^___^ V Hey! [14 Jun 2004|03:21pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy biiiiiirthdaaaaaay dear Sonya!!!

Happy birthday to you!!!

^.^ Happy 18th, Sony-chan!! Woohoo!

::calls out the hired male dancers:: Oh yeah!

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Because I know such things. [13 Jun 2004|03:33pm]
[ mood | artistic ]


I'm so bored and angsty. So, as usual, I start reading logs. It's hilarious. Dear god, Favian and I started quoting PotC, mid-RP, OOC. And making fun of everything we'd said. I love it. Favian's so cute. I MISS LOTUS! I really do miss Lotus! No one will ever match his level of psycho-ness and charm. o.O; Yes, I find insanity appealing.

And then there's the first sessions of the vampire RP...with the entire group, before I had it cut down to Altaecia and Voltarious and Laulina, alone. It didn't seem that fun at the time, really, having Seiru and whatshisnameRPedbyLukeysnakedude entirely isolated, but Laulina is just so cute! You see the early stages of a self-centered and possessive Laulina flirting with Volty--hell, you see him flirt back sometimes. I notice a trend in my characters..."Make a certain male character blush." XD!! I love it.

All hail Laulina, because she ownz j00, and is my singular non-mascudependent character. I love her dearly. Whee!

And you see my clinging to Favian desperately, in some of the more recent months of RP with him. o.o;; ::Sigh::

But hilarity ensues, none the less. The first RP only has gotten to 36 or 37 scattered sessions. It's lovely, I admit. Our new rp is now at 45, baby! ::griiiiiiiin:: I love it. O.o; Although, being both scribe AND catalyst is...interesting.

There are so many Lotus-isms I love. "Wench runs like a chicken" "Woman brain" "orgasms." ::snickers:: I love Lotus.

But Laulina's pretty close in her insanity, and fear of squirrels. Oo; She's so wonderfully twisted.

For another project I'll never pursue, I was thinking...maybe making the vampire RP into a manga? In my dark style, of course, it'd be full of very pretty people, and have some side commentary in the artwork, maybe...

I'd love to create one "dark deco" ala Batman:tAS, but now I'm just being dreamy.

Isn't it amazing, Angela, how you can de-rail your thoughts and hidden agendas in daydreams and nightly RP logs like that? So cute.

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